Wednesday, 30 March 2016

Camp portfolio sample writing



Descpion:
In writing we have been writing about camp I was writing to entertain so I made it funny.
First we had to make our 1 draft then we looked back over it to make it better 


This is my writing:

FARTS THEY ARE DEADLY 

The sniper his name is Eli.
Silent still and deadly one shot kills he fires everything around his dead straight away.
Now the story

We were trying to sleep there was 7 of us in our cabin.But then bang one man down bang bang bang bang it was only me and Eli then I released Eli was the sniper I ran but bang I was DOWN.....

The archer still and silent but so deadly his name was Max Max Hannan ...........

We were doing an activity then i see this little movement out the corner of my eye.
But I spin around because my mate had just been shot in the chest with an arrow I turn back around then I see him noooo I scream an arrow was gliding at me I was hit it went straight through me.
 
FARTS THEY ARE DEADLY 


Feedback & feedfordwards: you did really good at using great words but
you could of done better by describing the people in the story. #Fletcher

Evolution:I think i did well but it could be longer and I agree with fletcher.

Wednesday, 23 March 2016

TE REO portfolio post

Description: in TE REO we have been looking at family trees this is my mums side of the family my dads is alot bigger. We learnt how to pronounce the Maori words for our family members.

Image:

Feedfordwards and feedback: i like how you can go back and know many generation.next time you could find out the names of some . Max h

Evaluation:I think I should of added my dads family to.

Sunday, 20 March 2016

Camp portfolio sample

Description:this week we went to camp it was so fun we did ten activities there was a water slide and we got to ride horses they were rite outside our cabin we could here them eating and farting. 
The cabin were good I had my best friend and my cousin in my cabin so that was good 





Feedback & Feedfordwards: it was good and you described nicely 
But next time you could put some more pictures. -Louis

Thursday, 3 March 2016